Written by Lesley Christine
Authors and speakers don’t show up to share a message because they’re perfect and have all the answers to life’s questions. They show up because they’ve experienced the inevitable conflicts and challenges of life, lived through them and come out the other side having grown and learned something that will help others.
Our biggest challenges pave the way for our biggest blessings, if we let them.
When authors and speakers take those stories into books and onto the stage, it can have a massive impact on others, moving their audiences deeply.
Last year, I published a 100th anniversary edition of Florence Scovel Shinn’s The Game of Life and How to Play It, but I didn’t just publish an old text. I interspersed my own stories throughout, sharing how I had learned and embodied the wisdom she shares through my own challenges.
While readers appreciate the 100-year-old wisdom Florence shared, they tell me it’s the personal stories woven throughout that make the ideas feel relevant to their own lives.
In order to project the authority you desire in your message, you must process the emotion and share from an embodied state, rather than a raw one. Raw storytelling can come across as justification, while integrated storytelling sounds like an invitation to the reader.
The problem is that most people were never taught how to fully process the emotions that come with life’s challenges, leaving them in a sort of limbo state between the challenge and the wisdom they’ve gained.
You’ve survived and lived to tell about it, but does the emotion still live in your body or have you moved through it?
You’ll know by the way you feel when you talk about it.
Can you talk about it without tears coming to your eyes, without a knot in your throat, without a heaviness in the pit of your stomach?
Is the challenge truly in your past, or do you unknowingly carry the emotional residue of the situation with you in everything you do?
Your audience can feel your energy through both the written and the spoken word. When you have resolved the emotion and speak from integration, it touches them differently.
They don’t need or even want you to be perfect. They want to experience you in your humanity, including your imperfections.
When you’ve done the real emotional work, your listeners hear it. They can trust you more because not only have you been through something, but you’ve fully processed it. You embody who you are and that transforms how people experience you.
You also share from a different place.
I had moments of doubt when putting together the 100th anniversary book. Were my stories too personal? Would they matter to anyone else? Was I even comfortable having my story out there for anyone to read at any time? It’s one thing to tell your story to a specific person that you can see and interact with in the moment, it’s an entirely different thing to write it down and allow it to be read by anyone at any time.
Ultimately, the answer was yes. I had processed the emotion from these experiences and felt solid enough in who I am to share them with the world, no matter what the feedback might be.
If you feel defensive when someone challenges your story, there’s likely unprocessed emotion. If you feel expansive and curious instead, you know you’ve moved into integration.
But how do you process the emotions?
Begin by noticing the emotions that come forward when you tell your story. You can’t change what you don’t notice. Allow yourself to feel them with the intention of moving them through.
We often avoid feeling our emotions because we assume we’ll feel that way forever, but in reality the actual sensations of emotion won’t last that long when we truly allow ourselves to feel it.
There are many somatic practices that can help you move old energy out of the body, you can dance it out, use tapping techniques, or even imagine releasing energy with each step as you run.
Consider working with a coach who can guide you through this process and hold a safe space for you to release.
When you have cleared the old emotional weight you are left with a new clarity and confidence in the wisdom you have to bring. You can show up present in the moment and connect with your audience in an authentic way.
They will appreciate what you’ve been through and that you’re leading the way, inspiring them to make the change too.
When you’ve truly integrated the emotion, your story moves from compelling to transformative. And that’s when your audience doesn’t just hear you, they trust you.
Lesley Christine is a Certified Metapsychology Coach, emotional clearing expert, and creator of Living the Game of Life, a community and platform inspired by the timeless teachings of Florence Scovel Shinn. Through her RECLAIM Framework™, she helps high-achieving midlife women release their emotional baggage and the inner pressure of success so they can feel at peace, trust themselves again, and design lives of clarity and joy. Lesley is the publisher of a 100th anniversary expanded edition of The Game of Life and How to Play It, which brings new life to Florence Scovel Shinn’s classic by weaving in modern stories, embodiment practices, and reflection prompts for a new generation of readers.
Learn more at http://www.lesleychristine.com
