By Tilda Tart Blue Butterfly Publications
Facial expressions are often the very first thing we notice about someone—yet they can be one of the most difficult things to teach a child.
Have you ever tried to teach someone the difference between a smile and a frown? I’m not talking about specialized training for the CIA, FBI, or military. I’m talking about something much closer to home—raising a child and helping them interpret the emotional world around them.
When my “Little Sunshine” was young, I believed he was simply a happy child. He laughed at everything. Compared to my daughter, he seemed endlessly joyful. I thought that laughter meant happiness.
I was wrong.
By the age of three, we knew something wasn’t right. Our son had been removed from more daycare centers than I can count. I found myself taking more time off work to pick him up than I ever did for vacations. Yet at home, he was calm, loving, and gentle with our family. We couldn’t understand the disconnect.
He had everything a child could need—a loving two-parent home, a sister, a house full of toys, and a dog he adored. Of all our pets, he especially loved Sally. So what was missing?
Looking back, there were signs. He would hide frequently. He would run unexpectedly. At the time, we didn’t realize these behaviors pointed to something deeper.
One daycare invited us in before ultimately dismissing him. They showed us a video of our son destroying property. We sat there in shock. We didn’t recognize the child on the screen.
The director gently asked if we had ever heard of autism or Asperger’s. We hadn’t. The suggestion felt jarring—even offensive. Were they labeling our three-year-old as a behavioral problem?
Still, they gave us a resource and asked us to read it.
That night, we did—and 98% of what we read described our son perfectly.
When we asked him about the incident, he laughed. That was the moment everything shifted. He didn’t understand what had happened. He couldn’t process it the way most children would. When I asked if he felt sad or sorry, he said yes—but he continued smiling.
That’s when I realized something profound: he didn’t know how to match his facial expressions to his emotions.
He wasn’t being defiant. He was struggling to communicate.
That realization became the inspiration for my second book.
I began researching the seven universal facial expressions: surprise, sadness, anger, disgust, happiness, contempt, and fear. I wanted to create a way not only for my son to understand these expressions, but for other children to learn them early, too.
Understanding facial expressions is more than just a social skill—it’s a bridge to connection.
For children with special needs, this understanding can reduce social anxiety and eliminate the need to “guess” how others feel. For my son, it meant learning empathy—something he hadn’t naturally understood before. And that taught me something equally powerful:
Behaviors can be taught—not just expected.
This article is dedicated to my “blue baby” as we enter Autism Awareness Month in April. He is the inspiration behind my company, Blue Butterfly Writing LLC, and the reason I give back to both the special needs community and disabled veterans like myself.
A neurologist once told me, “Your new life mission is to support all the Little Sunshines out there.”
That moment changed everything.
After losing my career of over ten years at a Fortune 500 IT company, I found a new purpose—one rooted in advocacy, education, and compassion. My goal is to share the lessons I’ve learned—the fumbles, the tears, the breakthroughs, and the victories—with anyone willing to listen.
And most importantly, I remind my son every day:
“You are not ‘special needs.’ God made everyone unique and special. Never let your challenges define you.”
Thank you for being part of this journey—and for taking a moment to better understand the power of a simple expression.
Tilda Tart is the Founder of Blue Butterfly Writing LLC, a veteran-owned publishing company based in Allen, Texas. Specializing in literature for the Special Needs community, the company focuses on raising awareness of Autism and Asperger’s through storytelling and innovative resources. https://bluebutterflywriting.com
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